hips and bones

maybe i'll never get what i want, but i'll never stop trying either. i know i'll nevr be perfect but is it so wrong to strive to be as close as possible.

i've seen perfect walking down the street i've seen her on magazines and on the tv, and i'm the absolute farthest thing from her.

call me crazy but im going to get there someday...

fin.

back againagainagain?

im not promising im going to update everyday, i've broken that promise so many times.

im promising myself i'm going to do better be better whatever.

so much has happened since i last updated. i moved to a different state and lost a lot of good things in my life, but im gaining self awareness and realizing what/who i am. maybe all those "good" things i used to have just obscured my vision, i don't fucking know.

i am happier now, but im sadder than ive ever been some days. life is a slow stream flowing through mud and waste. but the water is clear some how.

make sense? ugh im trying my hand at being philosophical im sorry.

i apologize for not coming on here, ive been logging on every day for the past two weeks but i didn't know what to say. i still don't know what to say. im just writing because i feel like i need to pardon the rambling.

as far as weight goes? i've been doing awful, but today i barely ate because i feel disgusting at school with all those hot teen dream sticks. meh.

anyways...yeah...im alive aint it grand?